A new year brings a new resolution – write more blog posts! It shouldn’t be difficult, I have plenty of spare time during the evening and at weekends to throw out some corking blogs (or stop being a lazy shit, depending on your point of view).
I do have another reason to kick start my blogging – I recently became engaged, hence the blog title.
What’s more amazing, is that my new fiancé suggested I write about the whole getting married thing. It’s an interesting idea for sure. The man’s take on the whole process, documented and available for scrutiny.
I agreed – because not only is it a solid idea, I think it would make a great series of posts. My only hesitation is that I just want to be able to deliver on a decent blog whilst not over exposing my fiancé to the world as an innocent bystander to my ramblings.
So these first series of posts tell of how I reached maximum romance and popped the question. But the journey was fraught with obstacles.
I was told recently that it is only poor form to not ask permission if the woman in question is under 21. I’m not sure how true that is, but I found it interesting. It also didn’t matter as I asked her father for permission (although my fiancé is nearly 30).
Now, I like her old man. He’s a nice guy. He likes his football (he’s not die hard, but he takes a keen interest) and whenever we’re one on one we always fill the time with some form of conversation. He’s a great father, both daughters talk to him nearly every day and if I needed fatherly advice I could quite happily go to him for it.
But I never just meet up with him for ‘guy time’. I only really ever see him when it’s part of a wider gathering. This by itself caused my first major hurdle – how to ask permission.
There were a number of occasions when we would meet as a foursome for some reason – myself, her father, my better half and her mum. This usually involved us “kids” assisting the “oldies” (I don’t care how much trouble that puts me in) with something involving technology. During these times there would be guaranteed time I would spend with just him and I in the room and I would consider just launching a surprise “can I marry your daughter” on him.
However, it never felt right. I came close, very close once whilst we were sat with a brew (tea) watching the football whilst the lady folk were on the balcony for some reason I forgot to pay attention to. The whole time wondering “can the women hear me?”, “do I have enough time to execute this plan?” by the time I had weighed up both options a few dozen times the moment had passed – and I’m glad it did.
I’d decided to make a date of it. decision made. Next decision – How and where to do it that doesn’t garner too much attention and questions like “where were you?”, “why are you so late home?”. Mainly because I’m a terrible liar and secondly I struggle to keep secrets from my partner – which really sucks when it comes to gift giving (and proposals!).
However, the gods of fortune shone down on me as I had purchased a Blues ticket for the Villa derby on behalf of a friend (and I couldn’t go due to the extent of my arthritis at the time). I had to pass on said ticket to the friend who works a short distance across the city from me. He’s a man who likes his beer. So I said to the missus “I might have a couple of beers with him when I give him the ticket” – “Okay, have a nice time” – BINGO! I text her father asking to meet up straight after work in his town. We agreed a time and a place to meet for drink and the plan was in motion, and this was becoming increasingly real.
I drop the ticket off with my friend and said “if it comes up, you and I went for a couple of beers tonight, I’m doing some early present shopping for her” – BASE COVERED!
I get to the agreed location in good time – fuck me I’m getting nervous. I’m not great at driving conversations and I’m in fucking charge of this one! A pint settles my nerves. A second is on hand in case my mouth dries up.
Her dad arrives with his usual happy face and gets himself a drink. He sits down and we chat, just pleasantries until we’ve exhausted our shared interests. The table falls quiet and there is a momentary awkward silence:
So, you’ve probably guessed why I asked to see you
What a corker of an opening line! You would never have guessed I hadn’t planned a word of how to ask or that I was really bloody nervous. He laughed – phew!
I think I then managed to stumble the phrase “I just wanted to get your permission to ask to marry your daughter” out my mouth. Now, I still maintain I didn’t and haven’t received permission because I haven’t actually got a definitive answer. The response I received was “ohhh, you make such a wonderful couple, I’m so happy for you”.
We then discussed a few more things about the proposal – whether I already had a ring? which I didn’t as I wanted permission first; and did I know how I was going to propose? that was a big fat no – one problem at a time.
We then left, both with tasks to accomplish – me, to getting a ring and think about a proposal and him, to keep the whole thing hush, hush.
The keeping quiet was important to me. I know her sister’s engagement became a case of everyone knowing other than her sister and I didn’t want that for my proposal. The fewer people knew the better. Only her dad and my mum knew of my intentions.
So, with permission (of sorts) granted is was onto the ring.